To my Friends and Family

To all those who know and love me,

My declaration of friendship and love:

1. I promise all of you that I will never lie to you unless forced by uncontrollable circumstances. Such as asking me if your fat that is a sure fire way to get me to tell a lie. Okay so maybe I might tell you a white lie now and again but just to spare your feelings. Overall, in most situations I will tell you the truth.
2. I will offer my opinion and suggestions only when asked. If I make the mistake of telling you what to do with your life please remind me of my declaration. The road less traveled is often the best one to choose.
3. Judging is something that remains for God to do. Even if I hate the new color of your bathroom which is the worst shade of orange. I shall not judge your poor taste.
4. Parenting! I'm not perfect that is all I have to say about parenting. Know that if if your kid bites my kid my kid might bite him/her back but no hard feelings.
5. Always know I'm a phone call away but the hours of operation are M-F from 9:00am-10pm.
6. My love is unconditional unless you lie first or you are just not a nice person. Consider our friendship over.
7. This one is only for family. Just because your family does not give you the right to disrespect me or anyone else. I will be the first to let you know and just know in the dark that someone is out to get you. Maybe that is a little harsh...
8. Life is to short to harbor resentments so I forgive the first, second and third offensives but it is time out after number 3.
9. Guess what is around the corner number 10 that is all I got for nine.
10. Finally, I want all my friends and family to know I got your back even when you fall. I know some of you guys are super tall but I have strong legs it's all good. Cherish the good times and work through the bad times but tomorrow is another day. Know that no secret is to hard to talk about and if I ever offend it is better to talk. Than hold on to the negative aftermath.