Quiet

Quiet is such a great sound! When all day you hear are the loud screams of a 1 and 3 year boys playing. I savor the alone time and daydream of my younger days when all I had was alone time. I guess I never realized how valuable time is and how one should cherish every fleeting moment. I wake up and instantly feel very grateful to be alive and long for 48 hour days. Life is wonderful! My kids are amazing and I feel so proud to be a parent. I am glad that I choose to grow up and remain stable. To remain present and keep my focus on someone other than myself. Letting go of selfish intentions is a freeing experience. I want to remain open to life and all the roller coaster adventures that are thrown my way. The quiet helps me to reflect on the blessings and joy that God has given me. I take the best of the worst and make lemonade out of lemons. Sadness can be overcome with time and forgiveness can occur when you least expect it.

My Brother

Mom tells me today "Daniel is leaving mid-April for New York for good." I wanted to cry. I feel like I finally found my brother not that he was lost but we never knew much about each other. We are eight years apart and had very different childhoods. I left the house when he was ten and missed out on most of his football and basketball games. You know all of the cool stuff you do in high school. I did not see him go to prom or meet any of his high school girlfriends. I was gone for most of his teenage years when it would have been nice to have someone to lean on. I never have regrets or look back on past mistakes but I would have enjoyed seeing him grow up into a man. The brother I know now is amazing with kids, shy at times, very competitive, and funny. He is really funny when it comes to making fun of our parents! He is has a huge heart when it comes to family matters which makes him an ideal catch. I do not want him to leave because I feel like I have so much more to learn about him and from him. So, why is he moving? He met a girl he claims "she is the one" and I have all the hope in the world that indeed "she is the one". I want him to discover the world and hold on to his dreams. I want to see him soar in life. But, I know nothing about her and that scares me. Because, it makes me think he will slip away.Or worse yet we will both fade into our lives and forget we are brother and sister. Forget we have another person in the world that shares our DNA. Also, the weirdness that bonds us forever to our family. My Dear Brother, hold true to your dreams, keep your heart open to everything, and make your love strong and stable with her. But, most of all do not forget me!

Secrets

Secrets can be dangerous. What do people keep behind closed doors? Secrets can damage peoples lives and destroy families. What if one day you wake up and find your self living in someone else's lie? Secrets are not part of my mental makeup. But, every Mom knows little white lies can save a whole lot of time when you are dealing with toddlers and preschoolers. For the record I do my best to be honest with my kids even when it comes to the What is this question? I would never want to build a myth to big to follow. Secrets are feed to us on a daily bases! With advertising and sensational TV shows and those secrets almost justify the lie. We yearn for a life of normality and routine. I think lying is part of being human. It's not like we lie not to hurt people's feelings. We lie unconsciously. We use lies to cover when we arrive late to work or when we did not pay a bill on time. We tell ourselves lies to make life less shocking and hard to understand. Everyone is lied to and some lies are more damaging than others.

Adventures at Seaworld and PETA too

Adventures at Seaworld and PETA too!

• The Best Uncle on the block SUPER DANIEL!!!

Yep he was under the sea so to speak

He is half fish ya know!

Our Friendly sea lion and a person of interest for PETA.

Watch out Mr. Sea Lion your days are numbered at Seaworld.

Kamran and the Dolphins

It was pretty cool for him to be so close!

We went to seaworld this past weekend and we where greeted by middle aged protesters at the gates. The protesters belong to an organization know as PETA! Otherwise know as: People for the ethical treatment of animals.

Not only did the gates of Seaworld have protesters PETA had a plane circling over head and the message read-Free Whales.

So, I'm left to ponder................

• Why Ponder PETA?

My no meat Mantra!

In a life before kids I was once a vegetarian almost vegan (vegan people do not eat anything made from animals) for the purpose of being healthy and not consuming meat. I felt in my rebellious youth that all life should be respected and if you could not kill it yourself then you should not eat it.

The PETA plane worked in its subliminal message. Because my mind is wondering does Shamu need to spread its fin in the sea?

• I wonder what the world would look like if everyone stopped eating meat?
• Would chickens run around in people's front yards?
• Could Cows take dumps on my sidewalk?
• Would we spade and neuter the animals we used to eat?

I respect my animals friends almost enough not to eat them with my veggies. I think as humans on this planet we should worry about what scientists claim about heading for another ice age. We should be more concerned with cooling our planet. I understand the debate that animals release carbon and a ton of it when breed for the purpose of consumption. But, PETA why waste the carbon on a plane that you are using to create attention to free a whale that has lived in capacity for its whole life. Focus on one problem at a time and eat animals for now then cool the earth, and then stop eating animals. I guess my love for animals does not have the same intensity that most PETA supporters feel. All in all I felt a little guilty for looking at the mammals who share the same ancestral past as I. To sum up, I will remain an animal eater and Shamu will remain in captivity. On a side note the family had a great time! But, My oldest son has separation anxiety and I'm not sure how that is going to turn out! This could be a long battle because I love to travel and he does not. My kid is homebound!

Jake consuming a cold beverage Shamu style!

Jobless but not Lifeless

Peace comes from the weirdest places and when you least expect to feel serene. I lost my job well over a year ago and have yet to look back. I graduated college during my unemployment became a SAM full time which has it's days of bliss and chaos. I would never trade unemployment for time with my kids. However, not working has left me without a community of people. I get to see my boys grow, change, laugh, and cry. I become their everyday guide in life. I know my skill set is not 100% perfect for teaching children but what a wonderful time in all of our lives.

Being Mommy

First, for the record I never wanted to have children. My life was supposed to be glamorous sex in the city 2010 version of Carey. My ideal version of myself was living down town in a high rise enjoying a cocktail for happy hour. I was not supposed to live in suburban Katy with two boys and a four bedroom 2 bath 1 car garage. So, how did I end up in another reality far from the one I dreamed of everyday in my youth. Well, as they say I meet Mr. Right who appeared from a dating website on a fluke and it was a whirl wind since 2002. I turned my pub loving city dreams into a mild mannered wife who was expecting our first son. How did I know my husband was my perfect match? When I was 7 month pregnant we lost everything in a fire. Our one bedroom condo burned to the ground but we never stopped living we kept going and survived together. We never skipped a beat never focused on what we did not have but what we planned on having our baby. I think when you lose everything nothing seems worth anything. My dreams of sky scrappers landed in the rear part of my brain to set on the back burner of my reality. Our son Kamran was born and life changed! Life became so much more richer filled with baby laughs and countless amounts of diapers. My husband became a father and I became a mother and life was better. So, my daydreams of youth faded away and replaced by my new reality. I was mommy again to our little baby Jacob my pregnancy was marked by many world winds of chaos. Jacob endured a hurricane, funeral, and loss of great grandpa the day after he was born. Jacob is a smart over the top little guy who keeps everyone on their toes. So, being Mommy never stops it is a 24 hour job which keeps me on call everyday. Being Mommy is the greatest gift I have been given and life in the city lacks nothing compared to Mommy.